By
Karshams
Disclaimer:
Reader’s discretion is strongly advised
I am the tour guide,
let me take you on a voyage around this historic country.
How do I even welcome
you to this great country, Nigeria? Should I begin by referring you to search,
using Google, for the World Poverty Capital? Or I should just put it to you
directly that you are highly welcome to a country with plethora of corrupt
leaders? Whichever way you’d prefer, welcome to my country because this is
Nigeria.
You see, Nigeria as a
country is not difficult to identify or define. No matter which angle you look
at it you’ll always get the proper glimpse of this country. My love for this
country is so much that if I am given a citizenship of UK, I’d gladly accept
it. Well, I’m just being Patriotic.
I hope you all know
that Nigeria is the giant of Africa. Believe it or not, Africa is the centre
piece of Nigeria’s foreign policy but then, Nigeria’s title as Africa’s giant
comes with commendable acts of corruption, especially from those who glue their
bottoms to the seats at Aso Rock Villa and those who address themselves as
constituted authorities but in actual sense, constitute no authorities.
I am also sure you know
that Nigeria is the largest economy in Africa, but it would worry you to know
that Nigerians are dying of hunger. You may want to ask if that’s possible.
Well, this is Nigeria where the nation’s wealth is siphoned by private
individuals in the forsaken names Presidents, Sinators, un-Honourables,
Governors and the like. You see, we can’t really blame these people as it is
glaring that they try their possible best all-round the clock to ensure a
better Nigeria and their achievable feat is that about 90 million Nigerians are
in “extreme poverty.”
I am not sure whether
it’s a rumour, but I heard Nigeria also is Africa’s largest producer of rice
and the price of rice is too cheap that the citizens afford to buy less or none
of it. I would also like to clarify that the current mishaps in the country is
not the product of bad leaders. The current administration especially engages
in “tactical governance,” which Nigerians fell in love with it that they have
to call for a revolution for change of governance.
Nigerian leaders are
up-and-doing. They struggle in their own minds to build a country of our dreams
by vehemently making sure that the citizens remain silent in the face of
tyranny. That’s the Freedom of Silence.
Though, this is not stipulated in the Constitution but our political leaders
have a way of creating their own kind of law. Therefore, Nigerians are coerced
to remain silent since it has become their unconstitutional right.
Nigeria as the only
giant of Africa boasts of many great resources both material and human wise,
that even the western countries do not have, no wonder Donald Trump keeps
making crazy commentaries on Nigeria.
Nigeria is the only
country in the world that has “President-within-presidents.”
This is a common phenomenon in Nigeria. You see, if you are the President of
Nigeria, you must be under the control of another president (s) who probably
may comprise your family members, friends etc. People call the other
presidents, “cabals.”
It is known that a
single president cannot be competent enough to make decisions for this country,
so he/she has to take dictates from fellow unconstitutionally-recognized
presidents and in that way, the country will transcend faster than a jet with
supersonic speed. Asides Nigeria that boasts of this nice but shitty
development in governance, which other country does this?
In addition, Nigeria is
the only the only security-conscious country in the whole of the universe that
her military requires spiritual assistance to watch off the evils of
insurgents’ attacks. This is though dismally hilarious, but it’s a welcome
idea. Nigeria has many religious faithfuls and if everyone raises their voice
to the Most High to completely annihilate the terrorists while the military
goes to sleep, no doubt insecurity would no longer become a topic of interest
in Nigeria.
You may want to ask
that, does the President himself or any of the political office holders leave
their royal castles unprotected while they supplicate for divine protection
from the above? A simple answer is that the way the president or any of our
political leaders protect themselves must not necessarily be similar to how
ordinary Nigerians are protected. In Nigeria, there is a huge gap between the
rulers and those that gave legitimacy to the rulers. It is still democracy, but
not the one that was aptly defined by Abraham Lincoln.
I know this may sound
quite incredulous but Nigeria is the best country in terms of educational
system. Seriously, Nigeria’s educational system is drastically on the decline
but this is still something our leaders have to be proud of since they enroll
their children in foreign universities.
Infact, the amount of naira
injected in the educational sector is so large that the members of ASUU and
other bodies continually have to go on industrial actions to advocate for
better educational system in the country.
Nigeria’s educational
system is alright at least Nigerian varsities take joy in ranging between “800
and 1000” in World Universities Rankings while ascribing different tags to
their initial nomenclatures such as “first
and the best,” “the nation’s first choice,” “oba awon university” and so
forth.
Very soon, Nigeria
would boast of her own locally-made aeroplane even in this bad governance that
has sunk the country low. A pessimistic-Facebook user one said “that would when Nigeria is re-colonized.” But
I disagree with that idea. Building a locally-made aeroplane is a development
that has been in existence. With local items like cardboards, pencils, rulers,
blade, rubber bands etc., who says Nigeria cannot build her own aeroplane?
What more can I say
about this giant of Africa. Maybe I should say that this giant is a man who in
Mugabe’s voice left six cars and gymed for six packs. Ridden with confusion, no
sense of belonging and fear in his heart, he hopes to scare away the little
ones. While receiving mockery, sarcasm, excretion and contempt from the other
end, the giant is still proud of his achievement—his broad but empty chest.
And this is Nigeria.